The Reflection of God To Our Children

I have a hope, it's that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say, enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you. - Don Miller

When I think deeply over this truth I am reminded what I have purposed in my heart to be as a mother to my children. I reflect on my intentions of wholeheartedly wanting to be a woman who slows the world down for their childhood, creating memories and enchantment in the most ordinary days. A mom that they wake up and see reading the word of God and one that is intentional about connection and observation in tiny matters of their hearts.

But social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest can be mass weapons of distraction. They can be valuable sources of encouragement and kinship or they can be a tool used by the enemy to distract my life from my children. In each inattentive moment I am scrolling and double tapping wishing they would stop "bothering" me for "just 5 more minutes" defines God a little bit more clearly for my child. The times I make the effort to create a fun day for them and take them to exciting places are important, but they pale in comparison to the image of God that I am reflecting to them when they need me most. An image that I define little by little, day by day.

My prayer today is that we don't let ourselves be distracted, but be still, listen to our children and reflect to them what we know our Father is for us when we approach His throne. He is never too distracted for us or bothered by us. Our part in their story matters just as much as our part in our own. So pray for me today momma, as I pray for you and the portrait you paint to your children of God's everlasting love and vigilance of our hearts. #makeitcount

Thinking of Home Schooling?

Photo by Kristin Rogers

One of the biggest myths about families that choose home education is that they believe that the public and private school systems are evil, that everyone that teaches is intentionally trying to lead their children away from Christ and so therefore, they know the "RIGHT" way to educate their Children and everyone else is "WRONG". And that could not be further from the truth. I went to a public school, my husband went to a private school, and we both turned out to be adults seeking the Lord and trying to live according to His Word. I also have several friends that are teachers, my mom worked for a school district for several years, my mother in law has been a teacher for several years, and I know for a fact ... that none of those people are trying to corrupt your Children. (possibly a college professor or two, but none of the people I just mentioned ;-))  But the home education movement IS starting to become more popular. Why is that?

You see, we are in a spiritual war right now. Not with teachers and principles. But with the ruler of this world. And we all know who the ruler of this world is and he is prowling around like a lion seeking for someone to devour. My husband and I went to a Home school conference in the Woodlands last week and learned many surprising and stomach turning things about the Common Core Curriculum. As the years pass, unfortunately what the government is hoping to do in the public school system is teach our children that everything that God says in His word is a lie. And Satan loves that. So as soon as we even barely touch on the idea in our minds that we might want to educate our children at home, you know what he does? He starts to try and play with your mind.

I remember transitioning from just the idea of homeschooling to really leaning toward it with full force. And Satan came up on my left side and whispered in my ear...[wait. time out. No, I didn't literally hear him whispering in my ear. I do not have evil voices that talk to me. Nobody call CPS.] ... so he whispers... "You? Educate your children? ha! That's laughable. You? The woman that can't remember a single lick of fractions? You? Who misspells biscuits EVERY.SINGLE.TIME on the grocery list? (only spelled it right that time because of spell check, thanks blogger!) ... And seeds of doubt began to linger in my heart. But I thought, No! You know what? Sure I'm not the most intelligent. But my kids will be ok. I can learn things over along with them. Even fractions (God, please help me with that one) and my kids will be just fine. GET BEHIND ME SATAN.

But then he came up and whispered in my right ear. "Psst. Hey you. Yeah, remember your two kids and their never stop moving, never stop making noise personality? Yeah. You're doomed. Gonna go pretty insane in that house every day for the next 16 or so years. Good luck with that." And seeds of doubt began to plant themselves in my mind. But again, I thought - NO. Sure, it's hard. Some days have already pushed me to the brink of insanity and I'm only 5 years in (let's be honest), but this isn't going to break me. I've dreamed of being a mother for as long as I can remember. And this is a privilege. It's hard. And yes, some days I find myself wanting to pull the covers over my head in the morning and yelling back - "Mommy Who?!?"  But I am up for the challenge. I thank God every day that he made me THEIR mother. When a child is born, you only get 6,570 days with them until they turn 18 years old and leave your home. (well, ok, some mom's luck out and get a kid until they are like mid thirties. In the basement. Playing pokemon .... but I digress.) But I dream of days with my children when we can just go slow, soak in the nature that surrounds us, talk about spiritual things in every conversation and live life to the fullest. So that's not going to work on me, Satan.
SO GET BEHIND ME.

And then I heard him again. And I can't say that he didn't have a good point this time. I heard " Oh hey frazzled mommy. Yeah you. You know, you're going to be the mom that LET'S HERSELF GO. Whoa ho ho. We're talking, funky toenails, hair hasn't been trimmed in ages. Trying to smear on makeup from the 1990's because you don't have the time or the money (can I get an amen) to go buy any new makeup, and you're going to feel TERRIBLE about yourself. You won't have any time to take care of yourself  because every hour of every day you will be with your children. Yeah. Good luck covering those wrinkles and gray hairs. Which by the way, I'm already seeing right now, ouch. But those other moms ... the ones with the kids in public schools. Oh, you are so going to envy them. They are going to have fresh pedicures every week, just you watch. Oh and salon appointments and they will look at you in pity while they have bright eyes and fresh faces. Oh yeah frazzled mom, you're going down." And really, I didn't have an awesome come back for that one. I mean, he was right. It's probably true. I probably will look tired and frazzled most of the time. I pretty much already do, who am I kidding? But the point is, I wasn't going to let him shake me. And when I leave this disaster of a planet we call earth, I'm not taking this tired old wrinkled shell with me, praise God. It stays here. In the ground. From dust to dust. So I resolved not to let his lies discourage me. Because that's what he does. He wants to discourage you, and dishearten you and defeat you and distract you. And he does that by lying to you, but the best way he does that,
is by keeping you from the Word of God.

 And when I open the Word of God and I look for a rebuttal against those lies Satan told me, well, sadly I don't find anything about fractions and funky toenails, so I'm kinda at a loss there. But you know what it does say? Its says "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, are children born in one's youth." - Psalm 127:4. Why do I need arrows? And who am I fighting? And more importantly, WHO AM I FIGHTING FOR? And it also says "So fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates..." Deuteronomy 11:18-20. And Proverbs 22:6 that says " Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." "We know that we all have knowledge, but knowledge puffs up and love builds up."- 1 Corinthians 1:8.

Do I believe that Christian parents who send their children off to public school won't teach them any of the Word at home? Well of course not! But I do know that with the problem that my kids have of listening and the problem I have of being distracted, our family needs just a little more grace and a little more time in the day to do that than every one else. Let's just call it for what it is. Ha. And do I think that there is anything wrong at all with wanting your children to be super intelligent right along side having wisdom? Not at all. But it is like something I heard a speaker say at our conference - "My sole purpose in teaching my child to read is not so that they can get into Harvard but so that they can read and discern the Word of the Living God."

Home educating is not the right answer for every family, but it is the answer for our family. And I urge you, if you feel like it might be the answer for your family, DO NOT let Satan try to lie to you and discourage you out of that decision. He is going to try to tell you all sorts of lies. "It's going to be overwhelming." Well, yep. but that's motherhood. Motherhood is overwhelming, but we lace up our boot straps and we give it our best shot anyway, am I right? Seriously, what can be more overwhelming than bringing your first child home from the hospital and all of your family and friends leaving and you stand there all alone with your husband and begin to panic asking- "what do we do with this thing? Where do we put it? Is it a bomb?" But you survived. It's what we do.
By the grace of God.

And Satan will lie and say to you "People will compare their children to yours and not only will your KIDS look stupid, but YOU will also look stupid or, even worse, people will think that you aren't teaching them at all and that you sit on the couch all day eating bon bons and watching Soap Operas." And to that, I've learned to say - WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK? There is a war for my children's hearts. And I'm not going to sacrifice a relationship with my children because I have to keep up with the Jones' or prove to Kelly Sue that my child is just as smart as her child but in different ways and different areas. Or prove to Mary Beth that I actually AM teaching my children even though they STILL can't grasp fractions (I'm sorry kids, it's just not in your blood) and despite the fact that I might have a little bit of bon bon chocolate left on my face. #sorrynotsorry The people who have to always compare and compete? That is THEIR problem and not yours. Say a prayer over that and release it from your heart. Ask God to make peace within you that even when you feel like a failure because your child doesn't meet the "standards" - that you know He has made everything fitting in HIS time, Ecclesiastes 3:11, and not when you want it to show it's fruits. Remember who you are through this. God wants you to rely on Him to see this thing through.  I hope you can decide what will be best for your family as far as your children's education and I hope you make the decision without any outside negative influences whispering in your ear (again, not literally, I don't hear voices.) Please contact me if you need someone to pray for you or with you about the decision to home educate or to help remind you of the Warrior you are when you start to feel doubt or discouragement creep in. Good luck mommas! Whether home educator or sending your children away every day - we need to encourage and support one another because this job is hard and we are all trying to do what is best for our family. And also because, we are a warrior in the fight for our kids to have eternal life. Train hard.

5 Ways 50 Shades of Grey Will Turn Our Hearts From God

Well, it has been an incredibly long time since I have written an opinion post on such a controversial topic, and frankly, I'm a little intimidated to do so. Let me preface by saying that this is in no way a self-righteous judgement on anyone who has read this book and plans to see the movie. I am not looking down upon or shaking my finger at anyone. I'm far from perfect when it comes to entertainment choices and have my own "guilty pleasures" that I watch that sometimes call for the side eye from my husband as the cue to turn the channel (Big Brother fans, anyone?) So know that first. Because I get it. I do. I consider myself a hopeless romantic - always have- and I will be the first one to tell you that stories of attraction and passion in the most unexpected places are incredibly appealing to me. So I get the alluring aspect of this story. In fact, I'm kind of surprised I haven't picked the book up by now, curious to see what's inside. I'm right there with you, so know that as I write this. And honestly, I can't say for certain that I know what this story is completely about, because I haven't read the book. 

But I did see the movie trailer. 

And after much thought and prayer, I'm writing this to my Christian sisters not as a lecture, but more as a plea for us to really sit and think about the content of this movie before we run to the theaters to see it. To pray about it. To talk to our husbands about it. Because I love you and I am afraid that this story is a very simple, yet very elaborate ploy to turn our hearts away from God.  

Here is why I am personally choosing not to watch this movie:

5. The plot sounds kind of evil. Did you know that the author of this book considers herself a BDSM writer? That stands for bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism. Sadism is defined as sexual gratification by causing pain or degrading others. The enjoyment of being cruel. Masochism is defined as sexual gratification by suffering pain or humiliation. Yeah. Doesn't sound so appealing anymore, does it? The verse that comes to mind is Philippians 2:3: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves". Of course, Paul is talking about being one in Christ here in the context, not about a sexual relationship, but I definitely think that we can still apply it to how He would want our intimate relationship to go with our spouses based on other scriptures as well. I will get more into that in number 3. But for those of you that have daughters, think about your little girls. Would you be pleased knowing that your daughter was in a sadistic relationship? That she was being humiliated, degraded and put in pain for the sexual gratification of a man? Then why should we support this message for our own pleasure?

Since writing this post, I have come across an article by someone who has actually read the book and gives 50 abusive examples from this book. Here are just a few:

He responds: "You are coming back to my apartment even if I have to drag you there by your hair."

Christian warns her: "If you were mine, you wouldn't be able to sit down for a week after the stunt you pulled yesterday." 

Ana tells him that she doesn't want sex and would rather talk. "'No,' I protest, kicking him off." ..he replies with these words: "If you struggle, I'll tie your feet, too. If you make a noise, Anastasia, I will gag you. Keep quiet." "Quite frankly, I'm looking forward to the next time my palm is ringing with pain. You're obviously not listening to the right part of your body. Alaska is very cold and no place to run. I would find you. I can track your cell phone - remember?" 

4. While watching, our hearts are unguarded. He lays it out so simply for us: "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." -Philippians 4:8 

Dwell on these things.

I'm pretty sure it is going to be hard for me to dwell on the things that are pure and honorable when I'm sitting for two hours in a movie watching two people be anything but pure and honorable toward each other, much less toward God. I've heard words used to describe this story as "pornography". Now, I can't say this for certain not having read the book, but with the definition of pornography in mind you can't help but think that maybe they are right. Pornography: "printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings." Yep, sounds like pornography to me. So let's think about it -  if this story weren't so sugar coated by those who are selling it and the people who enjoy this lifestyle, there would be a drastic decrease in fans. Instead of saying "come on friends, Christian sisters, mothers of young girls ... let's go see this movie about an unusual and steamy romance" try saying - "come on friends, Christian sisters, mothers of young girls ... let's go watch pornography." Changes the dynamic a little, no? 

3. Our sexual desires need to be for our husbands out of love and humility. So that brings me to the relationship with our husbands, for those of us that are married. God created sex to be a beautiful and spiritual act between a husband and a wife. We all know that. We all agree. It is something that we use to show selflessness and adoration to our spouses while also being something that is glorifying and pleasing to God. And don't get me wrong, I totally know the desire to light a little spark in your marriage. Trust me, two babies age three and under ... long hours at my husbands job ... I mean, some days it takes more than a spark. Some days I think it would take a barrel of gasoline and a blowtorch to help light our fire at this point in our lives. Ha. But here's the thing. When life gets like that we turn to the Word, not to the World.  There is nothing, NOTHING more attractive in this world than hearing my husband pray, or read our kids a Bible story, or watch his face light up when he talks about the missionary journeys. I've had to realize that reading about someone else's love story doesn't really do anything for mine. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe there is anything wrong with a good chick flick, a love song, etc. I'm a sucker for a good love song. But by reading stories and watching movies like 50 Shades of Grey, seeds of discontent get sown almost unrecognizably in our hearts. Contentment and joy in our marriages are NOT going to be found there. If anything, any joy and satisfaction we feel with our spouses gets very quickly robbed by reading just a chapter in a terrible story like this. 

Also, think about how you would feel if your husband came home from work on Valentine's Day, handed you a card and said - "I'll make it up to you later, babe. I'm going with a big group of my guy friends to watch pornography.  .... Love you". Umm.. no thanks. We wouldn't want our husbands to do it to us, so why is it ok for us to do that to them?

4. "How dare we be entertained by the things that sent Christ to the Cross?" I first saw this quote while in college at the house of one of my now, dear friends. An amazing lady that is, to me, the epitome of a Godly woman. Not only does this sweet lady have the Word of God written on her heart, but she lives it out in everything she does. This quote has always stuck with me. It is so true. Every day when I wake up, I vow (though I often fail) to live my life in a way that is pleasing and acceptable to God. I want the things that break God's heart to break mine too. That is my prayer. Yet, when it comes to entertainment in this day and age, it is so easy to forget this and put other things before God. I know it is cliche`, but really think about it ... if you knew that our Lord was returning on February 15th (the day after this movie is set to release), would you spend your night before watching something like this? I know I wouldn't. Our hearts should break for the lives that this movie will effect in a negative way.  

5. This isn't a love story. It is anything but. Come on, ladies. We are followers of Christ. We know what a true love looks like. Love is patient, kind, ... it is not proud. It doesn't, under any circumstances, hurt or humiliate another person for personal gain. The ultimate example of love in our lives was SELFLESS. 

So I ask you today,  ... before you reschedule your Valentine's dinner with your husband to another day so you can be at the theater to get your tickets, or before you grab a group of your best single girlfriends and head to see this movie, remember what love is. Remember the desire you have to please God and your husband and be an example for your children. So maybe you read the book, but here is your chance to change your mind about this story. This is OUR time to stand up as women of God and say "no, Hollywood. I refuse to give in to pornography because you make it the "cool thing." 

I will NOT be going to see any part of this 3 part movie. It's time to make a stand for a REAL love story. 

One that doesn't have any more parts to it, because it is finished. 

Where, oh death, is your victory? Where, oh death, is your sting?

Then the whole company of them arose and brought him before Pilate. And they began to accuse him, saying, “We found this man misleading our nation and forbidding us to give tribute to Caesar, and saying that he himself is Christ, a king.” And Pilate asked him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” And he answered him, “You have said so.” Then Pilate said to the chief priests and the crowds, “I find no guilt in this man.” But they were urgent, saying, “He stirs up the people, teaching throughout all Judea, from Galilee even to this place.”

When Pilate heard this, he asked whether the man was a Galilean. And when he learned that he belonged to Herod's jurisdiction, he sent him over to Herod, who was himself in Jerusalem at that time. When Herod saw Jesus, he was very glad, for he had long desired to see him, because he had heard about him, and he was hoping to see some sign done by him. So he questioned him at some length, but he made no answer. The chief priests and the scribes stood by, vehemently accusing him. And Herod with his soldiers treated him with contempt and mocked him. Then, arraying him in splendid clothing, he sent him back to Pilate. And Herod and Pilate became friends with each other that very day, for before this they had been at enmity with each other.

Pilate then called together the chief priests and the rulers and the people, and said to them, “You brought me this man as one who was misleading the people. And after examining him before you, behold, I did not find this man guilty of any of your charges against him. Neither did Herod, for he sent him back to us. Look, nothing deserving death has been done by him. I will therefore punish and release him.”

But they all cried out together, “Away with this man, and release to us Barabbas”— a man who had been thrown into prison for an insurrection started in the city and for murder. Pilate addressed them once more, desiring to release Jesus, but they kept shouting, “Crucify, crucify him!” A third time he said to them, “Why, what evil has he done? I have found in him no guilt deserving death. I will therefore punish and release him.” But they were urgent, demanding with loud cries that he should be crucified. And their voices prevailed. So Pilate decided that their demand should be granted. He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, for whom they asked, but he delivered Jesus over to their will.

And as they led him away, they seized one Simon of Cyrene, who was coming in from the country, and laid on him the cross, to carry it behind Jesus. And there followed him a great multitude of the people and of women who were mourning and lamenting for him. But turning to them Jesus said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For behold, the days are coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren and the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’ Then they will begin to say to the mountains, ‘Fall on us,’ and to the hills, ‘Cover us.’ For if they do these things when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments. And the people stood by, watching, but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, “He saved others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!” The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine and saying, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!” There was also an inscription over him, “This is the King of the Jews.”

One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.” And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

It was now about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, while the sun's light failed. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” And having said this he breathed his last. Now when the centurion saw what had taken place, he praised God, saying, “Certainly this man was innocent!” And all the crowds that had assembled for this spectacle, when they saw what had taken place, returned home beating their breasts. And all his acquaintances and the women who had followed him from Galilee stood at a distance watching these things.

Now there was a man named Joseph, from the Jewish town of Arimathea. He was a member of the council, a good and righteous man, who had not consented to their decision and action; and he was looking for the kingdom of God. This man went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Then he took it down and wrapped it in a linen shroud and laid him in a tomb cut in stone, where no one had ever yet been laid. It was the day of Preparation, and the Sabbath was beginning. The women who had come with him from Galilee followed and saw the tomb and how his body was laid. Then they returned and prepared spices and ointments.

On the Sabbath they rested according to the commandment.

But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they went to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men stood by them in dazzling apparel. And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise.” And they remembered his words, and returning from the tomb they told all these things to the eleven and to all the rest. Now it was Mary Magdalene and Joanna and Mary the mother of James and the other women with them who told these things to the apostles, but these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them. But Peter rose and ran to the tomb; stooping and looking in, he saw the linen cloths by themselves; and he went home marveling at what had happened.

-Luke 23-24:12

"In this world you will have many troubles. But take heart... I have overcome the world."

You Are More.

Having a human being growing inside of you really makes you think about life differently. It makes you wonder what kind of parent you are going to be, what kind of example you will be, what kind of life you will live for your children to see. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous about being a mom. I think about things that I want to teach my children, like forgiveness, and question my own past and my willingness to forgive. What do I want them to see in me? I have so many things to work on.

But you know, the thing that I have been thinking about that I want my children to see the most through me ... is the love of God. So many of us have those stories of where we came from, such a dark and empty place, and we were REMADE. The one thing I want more than anything is for our children to know that we love them no matter what, and that God loves them no matter what. I hear stories too often of people that give up on life, or get angry at God and turn their backs on Him, or turn to addictions and violence to fill a void... all because they can't grasp what was done for them on the cross. That no matter where they came from, who they were, what they did, ... His mercy and grace and love covers them if they will just take that step. They can hide in it. They can basque in it. They can be in awe by it. It's there. It's always there. They are always searching, always hurting, for love here on this earth. For the approval of a parent, or the attention of a spouse, and while those things do mean so much, they won't fill that void. Those things won't give you peace.

I never want our kids to feel alone. I never want them to question their purpose in this world or doubt the love of God. It is indescribable to me when I think about how unworthy and undeserving of a second chance I was I am. Even now, as a follower of Christ, how many times I still mess up, and stumble. But He loves me anyway. I want with all of my heart, for my children to feel that.

I can't wait to teach them about the never ending, never changing, Love of God. And if you are wondering what kind of love I'm talking about, ... if you've never felt it ... if you've searched a lifetime to feel it, and searched this world over, in relationships, in entertainment, in hobbies, in praise of others, in friends... its not there. And you will just keep searching. The Love of God is one of those things that you can't understand until you REALIZE it is there, and actually feel it ... and you can't fully explain it to those who have yet to feel it.
It's like nothing I've ever known.

"Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved."

My Daily Dose of Inspiration : Baron Batch

I am so glad that my co-worker showed me this video at lunch today!

What an inspiring guy.

You should probably take the time to check out his blog too.
Here is a post that gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes.
It really makes you think...

"Maybe nothing we do matters at all.........but....... what if everything does?"

I can't wait to meet you, little one.

Have you ever tried to stop and think about the single greatest moment of your life? The one that took your breath away and caused joy and thankfulness and love to flood your entire being at the same time? The one that made you laugh and cry simultaneously? And then laugh at yourself because you couldn't stop crying?
I think back to two particular moments in my life where I felt totally complete.
One was on April 14th, 2004. The day I became a Christian.
The other, March 1st, 2008. The day I married the man that God had prepared for me.
But those two days ... if you put the substance of those two days together ... If you add the fact that I have such a loving and merciful God, one that worked out the intricate details of my life, and that I was united to someone who loves Him with his entire heart and soul in such a sacred union and bond that can't be broken... The moment that I realized that the love of God, plus our love, had created a life .... a perfect little heart that is beating....
That was the single greatest moment in my life.
So far.
It was so much fun telling our families and close friends. I loved all of the reactions. There was shouting, crying, shock, and of course, hugging.
One of my favorite reactions, was from my 90 year old grandfather. He has Alzheimer's and some days he can focus on what we are telling him, and some days, well, it's just hard. But when we told him we were expecting he said - "I'm gonna take 'em fishin', youngin'." :) Then as we were leaving, he placed his hands on both sides of my face, pulled me in real close, and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said - "I'm real proud for you youngin'." Family is so important. I'm sure it is amazing for my grandparents to watch another life come from what they started so many years ago. And as we start our little family, we can't help but think about the future we are beginning. The happiness we will get to see in the faces of our children, and Lord willing, in our grandchildren and great grandchildren.
I can't even begin to explain with words how happy I am. But happy doesn't seem to be a strong enough word. Adam has been so great. I had no idea that he would be so sensitive this early on. It makes me fall in love with him more and more and know what an incredible dad he will be to our children. He kisses our baby goodnight, texts me asking how his "little munchkin" and I are doing, and last night, while praying for our baby, he prayed for the future wife or husband of our child. That God would be with those parents, and that the child would be brought up in a loving home, one that centered around God, and that the heart of that baby would one day be prepared just right for our child. Just like ours were for each other.
Now if hearing that doesn't make you fall madly in love with a man, I'm not sure what will.
And I couldn't be more honored to bring a child into this world with him.
We love you already, our sweet baby Bluhm.
 

"It was the tiniest thing I ever decided to put my whole life into." -- Terri Guillemets

Pretty Little Lies: It's Ok to Be Obsessed with Sports

Pretty Little Lies: A Series

"Things That Satan Tells The World ... That We Believe."

Our society is being lied to. Because so many of us are obsessed with sports at this day and age, we all feel no pressure whatsoever to examine ourselves and see if we might be going overboard. Or to see if we might be "checking out of reality" with our minds always occupied by games that someday won't matter. Here is what two men who have examined themselves on the subject had to say. The first is from a Christian point of view, and the other is from a man who writes on a Blog titled : BECOME A BETTER MAN. That says it all, doesn't it? But not to be too hard on the men, here, us women can be some crazy fanatics ourselves. I hope this will be something that doesn't put you on the defensive, but maybe opens your mind to be more aware of if your love for sports is healthy or unhealthy. Satan is going to tell you that it is healthy, and that your family doesn't care and God doesn't mind. But that's always his job. Don't let him lie to you.

ARE YOU OBSESSED?

Many Christians have been diverted from their testimony for Christ into the never-ending life of sports fanaticism. It seems we have traded our bibles for scorecards. There are many Christians who care too much for the world of sports and too little for the things of Christ. As a believer
it is my responsibility to prevent myself from being dominated by anything or anyone except Christ. (Romans 6:12) We must remember that Christ said we cannot serve two masters. If our mind is on sports, it will not be on the things of Christ. Our lives are governed by an exchange principle. If I choose worldly things, I have then exchanged God for the world, and vice versa.
Sports is the easiest and most innocent appearing vice which can rule our minds. I would like to list fifteen traits a person obsessed with sports may exhibit:

1. You talk more about sports than the Bible.
2. You listen to sports on the radio instead of music.
3. You take the Lord’s name in vain if you become angry at a play.
4. You eat in front of the TV set so you can watch the game.
5. You find you have to "hurry home" so you will not miss any part of the game.
6. You constantly speak of sports.
7. You bet on games.
8. You neglect your family for sports.
9. You disturb other employees on the job just to talk about sports.
10. You only read the sports section of the newspaper.
11. You stay up late to watch the game or play a sport, even on a work or school night.
12. You miss the evening service for a sporting event.
13. You turn the game on during a meal.
14. You keep the game on or only watch sports when company visits.
15. You neglect spiritual studies for sports.

Satan has arranged the world of sports to keep minds in bondage to it. In Fall we have football, which flows into hockey and basketball in the Winter, which flows into baseball and golf in the Spring and Summer, which flows back into football in the Fall.
If some of the listed characteristics are present in you, then Satan has built a stronghold in your life. Our church and country are in perilous times and all we seem to care about are the scores of last night’s game. The sports craze has numbed many Christians. Some
churches reschedule their evening service on Superbowl Sunday so people will get home in time to serve their other god. There was a time when God received our attention seven days a week, then society pushed it back to Sunday, now we run home from church to read the sports
section of the paper, now God’s time is cut to one hour. One hundred years from now the SuperBowl will mean nothing. Sports has been used by Satan to numb both Christian and non-Christian to surrounding situations in church and country. It has worked because "Sports is the God of the Ignorant." Listen to after church conversation. Don’t get mad, evaluate!

From the a blog called: BECOME A BETTER MAN ....

When 99% of people say this is a glorious time of year, they’re commenting on the flowers blooming, the days becoming longer and the warm spring air hugging you every time you walk outside. Unlike you, they’re not saying it’s a great time of year for watching sports.
Take stock of yourself Take a moment to inventory your life: Is your wife and family a priority? Is an active lifestyle important to you? Do you have a rewarding
profession? Do you have a social life outside of fantasy sports message boards? If you answer “no” to any of those questions, your sports obsession is in the way and you need to put down the remote control and Shaq-Fu your life into shape. You are a sports nerd. Media has made the term “nerd” hip in contemporary society, but you’re not even that kind of nerd. You’re a
geek who idolizes your natural predator, jocks. Do you think gazelles obsess over statistics on what time certain lions run the 40 in? No, because they’re too busy eating, mating and running from lions. In other words, they are living their lives more fully than you.
A sporting season Don’t fool yourself. Don’t claim that your life is simply one-dimensional because the sports season is too good right now. The best teams are squaring off in the NHL and NBA Playoffs. The Kentucky Derby is quickly approaching. And hope abounds with the NFL Draft and first few weeks of baseball season, when all fans can reasonably believe their team will win the World Series, even Cubs fans.

Your sports obsession is year-round. Admit it: Obsessing over slugging percentages and European power forwards is less daunting than being passionate about a career or
social life. Watching others exercise is easier than getting a personal trainer for yourself. The fatter you grow and the worse your life becomes, the more enthralled you are in watching Lebron James’ perfect form. Professional athletes are now your pornography. Not
because you’re questioning your sexuality, but because they embody the fantasy world you can never experience. You use professional sports like dopers use drugs -- to escape from reality.

Your sports hobby stops being healthy when it becomes a sports obsession. With extended cable packages and being constantly plugged-in with smartphones and Wi-Fi, it is now easier than ever to lose yourself in sports. Fandom is not an acceptable surrogate for a rewarding life.

It is time to face a harsh reality. The world does not care how many statistics you have memorized or how many sports talk shows you call in to. People you only communicate with via fantasy league message boards are not friends.

Eject yourself. Unplug the cable. Jog a mile. Take your wife on a date. Get to that pile of laundry that’s grown taller than the kitchen table (and stop putting your dirty laundry in the kitchen). Buy a bed frame and get your mattress off the floor. Stop opening the score clicker on your work computer. Focus on being fully present in your own life. And wait until the All-Star Break to check in on the MLB standings -- it doesn’t get good until then anyway.

Pretty Little Lies: A Series

I've decided to do a series on my blog called Pretty Little Lies ...

"Things That Satan Tells the World, .. That We Believe."

I have a few different topics in my head already that I would like to start with, and some of my material will be original and some will be what I have collected from other sources. Either way, I feel strongly about these topics and feel that we let ourselves believe lies that keep us from being the people we need to be. Of course, that's his plan, right?

I hope you enjoy.

This is for your Make Believe.

The other day, one of my friends posted a link to a pretty controversial blog post. It wasn't her post, just something she came across, and I'm not even going to go into the topic on here, because that is opening a whole other can of worms, but something that I saw on the comments section of that post was what caught my attention.

You know how it goes. Somebody writes about something that they are incredibly passionate about and because it is not something that most people believe in, many get stirred up and react in the comment section. In this instance, it seemed to change from a political topic to a spiritual topic very suddenly. You had people lashing out at one another, telling each other who was wrong and who was right.

This post that I saw just happened to be written on Christmas day. And one of the people that responded signed this to the bottom of her comment:

"Merry ImaginaryFairyMas Everyone!"

No, you read it right.

Essentially calling Jesus an "imaginary fairy".

And it got me to thinking. I know that a lot of people in the world find the Bible to be a book of fiction. A great literary work that has no truth behind it. And I think that the reason why it is so easy to fall into that way of thinking is because we can't fit God and what He has done over time, into our frame of mind, ... into our box. We want Him to be, and want His plan for mankind to be what WE want it to be. And not what it is. We all have a way of thinking about things- how real they are- and if something just seems illogical or impossible, unrealistic even, we can't believe it. "No, God would have never done that. No, God would never feel that way about this."

We put God in our own little box and we call it Make Believe if the God that created us, the very God that created lightning and emotions and birth and wind ... isn't what WE THINK He should be. Wow. How incredibly arrogant of us. To think we know God when we as humans still aren't even 100% sure how lightning works. But we've got the Creator of all things figured out?

Uhhh Huh.

Kind of like the Unicorn, I'm assuming.

(Random, I know.)

We have a picture of what a unicorn would be in our heads, don't we? Even though they are strange mythical creatures. But the Bible talks about unicorns. Did you know that?

This is actually something that most atheists use to make fun of the Bible and try to disprove it. "The Bible talks about unicorns. Pssh. A horse flying around with one sparkly horn on its head? Yeah. Like I can believe anything THAT book says."

"Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib? Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?"
-Job 39:9-12

"But my horn shall you exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil."

- Psalm 92:10

"And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness."

- Isaiah 34:7
So the creature you are seeing in your mind is probably this, right?

Well, what if I told you that the unicorn mentioned in the Bible looked more like this?

Would that be easier to believe?

Because it probably is. This is an Asian One-Horned Rhinoceros.

The scientific name for it is a Rhinoceros Unicornis (latin).

A "unicorn."

So, do you see how we can take something that is so simple to explain and turn it into a completely ridiculous mythical explanation because we don't want to to take the time to wrap our minds around a God who doesn't fit our mold? And a book that cuts our conscience to the core that we would rather not live by? And because maybe we already have such a preconceived notion in our head of something, ...we find things hard to grasp?

I hope that the next time you want to question God on something He has said or something that He made, you will think of the unicorn. Maybe it's not that what you are thinking of couldn't have happened, but maybe that you aren't imagining the right thing. The right kind of situation.

Just a thought.

 

Teach Me to Number My Days....

Today was tough.

Funerals are always hard. Even when you don't really know the person who lies at the front of the building, there is something about seeing the pain and sadness of the family and friends that weighs on your heart. Funerals make you think about how short life is, and how you are spending your time on this earth.

Today, the man conducting the service said something incredibly profound -

"The only thing you can take with you when you go ... is what you leave behind."

It is so true. It really makes you examine yourself and think about how you want to live. It especially made me think about Matthew 5:15-16.

"No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men in such a way that they should see your good works and glorify your Father who is in Heaven."

It makes me wonder how often I set my lamp under a basket. Is the only time that I tell people about the love and mercy of God or talk about Him at all, when I am within the four walls of a building?

I remember when I first became a Christian and I had a conversation with someone who was asking me what I was doing with a "Jesus Fish" on my car. He would probably laugh now reading this, especially considering the amazing Christian man he has become since then. But his point was that a true follower of Christ doesn't need to put it on display all of the time if they are steady in the faith. At the time it didn't make a lot of sense, and years later, and I think he would agree... it still doesn't. I think sometimes people feel like they don't want to "shine" so to speak, because they feel like it would be mistaken for a show. Not genuine. Or maybe because they think that not speaking up about God and just being kind and living a good life will be all the display they need. Unfortunately, I think a lot of times that can cause them to seem like the only time they talk about, think about, or read about God are, like I said, when they are within those four walls on Sunday and Wednesday nights.

But God specifically told us to SHINE.

Now, do I think that means sticking a bunch of Jesus Fish on your car and wearing WWJD bracelets up your entire arm? Well... no, I don't. I believe it means living so that God gets the glory. Not just being a nice person and hoping that people think you follow Christ. I know several people that don't believe in God that are incredibly nice people, people that I love. But I mean, being a good person, loving BIG, but ALSO letting them know why you do. Because God first loved you. If you aren't telling them about the mercy and forgiveness that Jesus has shown for you, then how do you expect them to know where your Hope and Joy come from? The last part of that verse says "glorify your Father who is in Heaven." So why not give Him the glory?

"Because Your love is better than life, my LIPS will glorify You."- Psalm 63:3

This also comes with another side, though. Nobody is perfect. We all mess up. And so when you are open about your faith, and you struggle with something or make the wrong decision, then yes, people might also associate that back with you being a Christian. An imperfect one. They might even be harder on you because ..."I thought you were supposed to be some good Christian." Yeah. It can get hard. I know from experience, especially having a blog. Sometimes people pick apart your every word waiting to find something to complain about. It's sad really. But don't be afraid of that. 2 Corinthians 12:19 says-

"But He said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

What a comforting thought, right? Ahh... we don't have to pretend to be perfect. We don't have to act like we have it together ALL of the time. That would be so exhausting, I think, to live a life where we always had to pretend that it was perfect. That we always loved our circumstances, and we never needed help. But we can admit our faults. We can ask for prayers for our struggles. We can swallow pride and apologize. I'm so glad we can.

So yes, there will always be people watching you when you try to shine your light before men. Either they are watching and wanting what you've got in your life, or they are watching to see how you react when you mess up. But always remember that you are representing Christ. And something that one of my favorite friends always used to say to me when I was in college - "Live your life in such a way, that when people say negative things about you, or spread lies about you in order to build their own selves up ... nobody will believe them."

So, how do we SHINE?

Well, one of our friends, Tye, said it best the other night when he said this:

"God never intended for his word to stay on the pages of a book."

I've never thought of it quite like that before. He intended for us to write it on our hearts, and live it in our lives. And I'm certain that He doesn't want us to seek Him, find our salvation, and then be satisfied. We aren't called to grab a hold of a gift, and hide it away in our pockets so that others don't know how to get to it. It's definitely not "as long as I'm saved and forgiven... that's all I need." No, we are called to spread the Gospel of Christ. To tell His story.

How He changed my life....

How He can change Yours.

SHINE.

We Never Walk Alone.

"I will never leave you, nor forsake you." -Hebrews 13:5 You would think only so much can go wrong,
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume that this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures... the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake...
Our Hope is unchanged.How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is torn
With illness but she marches on
Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures... the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake...
Our Hope is unchanged.

Immanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient

We never walk alone
And this is our HOPE.
Our hope endures.... the worst of conditions It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake... Our Hope is unchanged.
 

I Have A Confession.

I've got this war going on inside of me.

I'm not sure if I can really explain it, but I'll try.

It is a war between my "flesh" and my soul. It has been going on for a while now, and it's painful. One day I wake up, and all I want to do is simplify my life. I want to live out in a little cottage house in the country, have our own little garden, sit out on the back porch sipping iced tea as the sun goes down and talking about my favorite songs and scriptures. I want to give all I have away and not look back. But the next day, I will wake up and think about how much I want to go shopping, where I would love to go on an extravagant vacation, what is coming on t.v. that night, and how I can cram more stuff and more entertainment into my day than I could possibly imagine. And one part of me longs to be patient and forgiving and an absolute optimist. While the other part is in such a rush, always finding the cup half empty, always coming home "too tired" at the end of the day to take time out for study or prayer.

In other words, there is a part of me that is seeking such fulfillment in the way I'm living, and then there is a part of me that wants to deny myself and let someone else live in me. It is something I constantly struggle with. Some days, I'm incredibly materialistic... but most days, I just want to be plain and simple. Meek and lowly. Humble and modest. I feel it in my soul. And most days, the sad part is... I let it stay there.

But I have to remember -

"I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and delivered Himself up for me." - Galatians 2:20

I'm sure there are a lot of people in the world who think that those of us who have put away the old man, and given our lives to Christ are kind of weird.

And they're right. We are.

We've been called to be a peculiar people. Set apart from the rest of the world. Strangers in a place that is not our home. So when you see the way we worship, and pray, and strive to live our life in such a way that would Glorify God, you might not understand.

We choose to lose our life, in order to LIVE.

If only I could stop this war inside me and truly deny myself.

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."- Luke 9:23-24

Yet God forbid that I should boast about anything or anybody except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, which means that the world is dead to me and I am a dead man to the world.- Galatians 6:14

So please pray for me with this struggle.

Of course I want to live comfortably and to be able to take care of my family. But more than anything, I feel it in my soul, I want to simplify my life until God is the only thing left. And then add to that my blessings. Not the other way around. Not where I find myself engulfed in desires of this world until I'm filled to the brim, and then add God in where I can. I want to deny myself all of the pleasures of this life and take up my cross. I want to lose my life so that I may save it.

"Bind up these broken bones, mercy bend and breathe me back to life...

but not before You show me how to die."

Everything I Hoped You'd Be...

2010 was amazing, but as much as I hated to see it go, I was also really excited to start 2011.

What we are praying for, is a good report for Adam on the 21st of this month. His scan got postponed once again and now we have it set in stone for the 14th. Next Friday. That means, we will hear on the 21st whether or not he is still cancer free. I'm pretty confident that the report will be good, he will be healthy as a horse (how healthy are horses anyway?), and we will get to start our family this year. On top of that AMAZING news, we also have a lot of fun planned for 2011.

At the end of this month, I get to watch Adam play in his College Alumni Baseball Game. This is a big deal because I have never seen him play since ... well, ever. And since he loves the game so much, and was so good at it, I'm excited to be able to sit up in the stands with the other wives and cheer him on! I might even download the song from "The Natural" to play on my phone when he hits a home run for me! ;)

I also have another exciting Relay Season coming up this year with 7 different communities. That means meeting more amazing people, playing more fun games, listening to more inspirational stories, and raising more money for a cure. If you have never participated in a Relay For Life in your community, you are missing out.

http://www.relayforlife.org/

This summer we are hoping to take a trip to California. I have never been there and I would love to see the Red Woods and go ride four wheelers down on the beach. Adam lived there for a short while after college and he is really looking forward to showing me around.

I will also be having my 10 year reunion this year! I can't believe it. I never would have said this at 18 years old, ready to get out of that town and never come back (you know how it is when you graduate),... but I am really excited about seeing everyone that I grew up with and catching up on their lives. I know a lot of them have precious children and a lot of great stories since senior year and I will really enjoy hearing them all.

There are so many things I am looking forward to, but most of them have to do with changes within me and not what we will be doing or where we will be going. I know all of us are constantly trying to become better people and challenge ourselves. And I have definitely started thinking about what kind of mother I want to be. It hits me like a ton of bricks to think - it's not what kind of mother I will be "someday", but what kind am I about to be?? And there are so many little things about myself that I want to tweak and fine tune before I bring a child into this world. So, I figured no better time to think of those things to work on, than New Years Day. The day of resolutions.

This year, I had 3 New Years Resolutions.

1. SPEAK KINDLY

We are human. And a lot of times we find ourselves talking about what we see others do or like to give our own opinion of what we think they should have done. We will say something like - "That jerk just pulled out right in front of me!!" Well, not anymore. I'm working on my language. And if I don't have anything nice to say, I won't say anything at all.

"Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."
Colossians 3:12

2. MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY DAY

This one is easy to slack on. But I started thinking about that whole 10 year class reunion thing. That kind of hit me in the face. If those ten years went by that fast, how fast will the next 10 go? And I can't slow down life. But I can make it seem longer by filling my day with little treasures and memories. I can stop to do things for strangers, and make friends of them. I can keep in better touch with my friends who live far away, and make sure to visit them often. And I can love with everything I have. Every day.

"Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality."
Romans 12:9-13

3. LEARN TO SEE THE WORLD THROUGH THE EYES OF CHRIST

I once heard a quote that said something like- the world is a reflection of what is in your heart. And so if all we see and talk about and complain about are negative things around us, then maybe we need to adjust something going on within our own hearts first. I mean, sure.. we are definitely still going to hear of sad things going on around us, burglary, assault, child abuse, cancer.... and we are going to want to hurt with those that are hurting and get angry with those that are angry. But life is also filled with simple blessings every day and it takes a much bigger person to find those blessings amongst the chaos than it does to gripe and complain about what is going wrong with the school systems, our government, and who knows what else. I want to purify my heart to see the good in everyone around me and give people the benefit of the doubt.The spirit of a man is the lamp of the LORD, searching all the inner depths of his heart.

Proverbs 20:27

Teach me to number my days
And count every moment
Before it slips away
Take in all the colors
Before they fade to grey
And when it's all said and done
No one remembers
How far we have run
The only thing that matters...

Is how we have loved.

So slow down, before today becomes our yesterday.

The Perfect Gift...

I love this time of year. I love it for the warm fires, the beautiful white lights, the joy on children's faces, but also for so much more.

It is the time of year when, depending on how your family does their gift giving celebration, you are buying one special gift for that person whose name you have drawn, or you are buying presents for everyone in your family. Giving is so much fun. To think about what that person would want or need and be able to bring some happiness to them when they open it, is such a blessing. If you are anything like me, you want to make whatever you get them "the perfect gift". The one thing that will change their entire year next year because they have it. The one thing that their little heart desires.

It makes me think of a gift I have received. My perfect gift.

I didn't have to pull off wrapping paper to open this one. And it didn't have a beautiful bow attached. In fact, I couldn't physically hold this gift at all. But it was by far the greatest gift I have ever received. And it didn't just change my next year, or the year after that, ...but my life.

And the giver? Well, He knew exactly when I needed it.

That gift was Mercy and Forgiveness.

Now it's true, nobody had to stand in line at 3am on Black Friday to pick it out for me. Or order it on EBay to make sure it got delivered on time. And it wasn't hundreds or even thousands of dollars.

Instead, a much higher price was paid.

When I think about the gift of a second chance, all other gifts seem so insignificant.

Because of Jesus Christ, my King, my sins have been washed away. And can you imagine the happiness of the Giver when we finally receive that gift? It is something that healed me. All of my wounds of brokenness, sadness, loneliness, selfishness, pride, anger, and malice. Everything I held inside and thought that nobody could see. All of it gone. Not because I became perfect by receiving this gift, but because it made my life so filled with healing and peace that I want to live in order to bring Glory to the Giver.

And if I could describe to you how I felt on that day, almost seven years ago .... the words to this song would be as close as I could come....

"I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free...

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You areI am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar"

Thank You will never be enough.